I Speak English, Sarcasm And Profanity – Silent But Deadly Tee

The beauty of wearing your emotions on your sleeve is a myth – unless you're wearing this tee. I Speak English, Sarcasm And Profanity because that's all anyone needs to know about me. Your conversational boundaries just got verbally expressed.

Perfect for the introvert who doesn't do small talk or as a gift for your social anxiety-stricken friend – sarcastic graphic tee and funny coworker gifts don't get any better than this. Wear it proudly and keep the chit-chat to a minimum, because that's all you're obligated to.

🎨 Unapologetic Style & Durable Comfort

Whether you’re heading to a geek convention, a sci-fi marathon, or making passive-aggressive statements at family dinners, this shirt delivers. Thanks to its tightly knit 100% open-end US cotton fabric, the graphic details are ultra-sharp and the colors remain vivid over time—because while trends fade, good sarcasm should last forever.

With a seamless ribbed collar and a completely smooth, tubular knit, you get premium, everyday comfort wrapped in a bold aesthetic.

📏 Size Guide

Size	Width (Chest)	Length
S	46 cm (18 in)	71 cm (28 in)
M	51 cm (20 in)	74 cm (29 in)
L	56 cm (22 in)	76 cm (30 in)
XL	61 cm (24 in)	79 cm (31 in)
2XL	66 cm (26 in)	81 cm (32 in)

📋 Technical Features

Material: 100% premium Cotton for an ultra-clean, classic texture.
Fabric Weight: Heavyweight fabric (180 g/m² / 5.3 oz/yd²) providing a rich feel and a durable, structured drape.
Fit: Classic unisex boxy/straight fit, true to size (size up for a modern, relaxed oversized look).
Construction: Tubular body knit (no annoying side seams) with a seamless twin-needle 2.2 cm (7/8") rib collar.
Reinforcement: Taped neck and shoulders to prevent stretching, plus double-needle stitching on sleeves and bottom hems for maximum durability.
Responsibility: Crafted using 100% sustainably grown and ethically harvested US cotton.

🧼 Care Instructions (Don't Ruin the Joke)

To keep your garment looking crisp and sharp for years to come:

Turn the shirt inside out before washing.
Machine wash in cold with similar colors.
Tumble dry low or hang dry (highly recommended to preserve fabric and graphic quality).
Iron inside out and never run a hot iron directly over the graphic area.