My Body Is A Machine That Turns Dicks Into Sucked Dicks

My Body Is A Machine That Turns Dicks Into Sucked Dicks – Polite Social Barrier Tee

Family gatherings can be a real treat, but sometimes you just need to set boundaries without being too upfront. Luckily, My Body Is A Machine That Turns Dicks Into Sucked Dicks is here to do the dirty work for you. It's your official polite-but-not-really excuse to avoid all sorts of awkward conversations.

Perfect as a dry-witted gift for coworkers or an oversized graphic tee for navigating any social situation where subtlety is key, this sarcastic machine-themed shirt ensures you'll never be short on excuses. Whether it's a holiday dinner or office party, wear My Body Is A Machine That Turns Dicks Into Sucked Dicks to signal your boundaries.

🎨 Unapologetic Style & Durable Comfort

Whether you’re heading to a geek convention, a sci-fi marathon, or making passive-aggressive statements at family dinners, this shirt delivers. Thanks to its tightly knit 100% open-end US cotton fabric, the graphic details are ultra-sharp and the colors remain vivid over time—because while trends fade, good sarcasm should last forever.

With a seamless ribbed collar and a completely smooth, tubular knit, you get premium, everyday comfort wrapped in a bold aesthetic.

📏 Size Guide

📋 Technical Features

• Material: 100% premium Cotton for an ultra-clean, classic texture.
• Fabric Weight: Heavyweight fabric (180 g/m² / 5.3 oz/yd²) providing a rich feel and a durable, structured drape.
• Fit: Classic unisex boxy/straight fit, true to size (size up for a modern, relaxed oversized look).
• Construction: Tubular body knit (no annoying side seams) with a seamless twin-needle 2.2 cm (7/8") rib collar.
• Reinforcement: Taped neck and shoulders to prevent stretching, plus double-needle stitching on sleeves and bottom hems for maximum durability.
• Responsibility: Crafted using 100% sustainably grown and ethically harvested US cotton.

🧼 Care Instructions (Don't Ruin the Joke)

To keep your garment looking crisp and sharp for years to come:

• Turn the shirt inside out before washing.
• Machine wash in cold with similar colors.
• Tumble dry low or hang dry (highly recommended to preserve fabric and graphic quality).
• Iron inside out and never run a hot iron directly over the graphic area.

🛡️ Unethicaltee Guarantee

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